Joyful Parenting

This essay by Peter Leithart on joyful parenting was very encouraging to me (and a bit convicting as well).

Knox and Creed

On my mother's day post, I wrote this about Creed:

I always think of him being a bit more innocent not knowing the pain of losing Knox, but at the same time I think he "knows" him ...

and I said that I might blog about it later. I realized when I wanted to blog about the pictures below, that my thoughts on Creed knowing Knox fit in with this post. I have kind of hesitated to write some of this because in a way it some of it seems sort of mystical or farfetched, but maybe it is just a mom that looks for comforting things.

Since Creed was itty-bitty he has always looked up when we were outside. I'd get him out of the van and he'd look up. As soon as he could point, he'd look up and point. So I'd talk to him about the sky, the clouds, the stars. I know it really doesn't have to mean anything, but I always have felt like it was a connection to Knox since we tend to talk about the heavens above.

I wear a locket around my neck that has an engraved picture of Knox. Creed has always wanted to look at it and I'd tell him that it was Knox who is his brother. I think I mentioned once before that I felt like it was their hugs to each other. On his own one day, he started giving it a kiss.

Another interesting thing is how he recognizes pictures of Knox. Kids his age have a hard time identifying people that they don't see day in and day out in pictures. One day Creed was beside me and I was looking through some stuff and he saw a picture of Knox he had never seen before. He pointed right at it and said, "That Knox!" It really rather floored me that he knew that was Knox especially since pictures of Knox can really look like Creed.

I was relaying some of this to a friend of mine one day and feeling a bit silly especially the part about the sky, and she told me that she really didn't think it was farfetched to think that God could have created Creed with some sort of knowledge of Knox. Not that he would know the details or such of his life but that he would have a sense of him as his brother. There is no way of knowing if that is true or not, but I thought it was a pretty cool though and definitely not out of the scope of God's character.

Now to the pictures...One of the things we did on April 23rd was to get out the quilt that the ladies of our church gave us on Knox's 2nd birthday. We hadn't had it out in a while and Creed really had never had a chance to explore it. We laid it out on the living room floor and the kids showed Creed all the squares and told him many things about their brother. Creed loved it!
Anne Michal showing Creed some pictures.

Jack wanted Creed to look at every little thing!

Creed pointing to a decal of Thomas the Train. I think this was his favorite square since Thomas is practically his best friend.
A shot to get a look at a good bit of the quilt.


One of the number squares... The kids reminded me that I need to put a picture of Creed in the #6 square.
Emma showing the picture of Knox and herself in the #3 spot since she is the third child.
Creed also loves to look at this little photo book my mom had made of pictures of our family with Knox. He has been asking to look at it almost every day lately.

Bedtime Routine

At bedtime, I always ask creed if he is ready to do verse. Depending on the night, he either yells., "yay!!" and runs to his room or runs the other direction in hopes of delaying bedtime!! In their room, is a picture that has a different verse for every letter of the alphabet and each night we read one out loud and he repeats after us. After verse, we pray and then we sing "The Lord Bless You and Keep You." Some nights he participates more than other. This night I happened to get him reciting and singing most of it! For you added pleasure, he had the hiccups. ;-)

Where Mother's Day Finds Me

As more time goes by, I find myself being more and more reflective each Mother's Day. More life happens, more experiences take place, and even more children are born. This year I am thinking about my children...

I am thinking about Anne Michal and her servant's heart. She has a deep faith for a not-quite-13 year old. This faith pours from her heart in how she deals with hard times, how she loves her family and friends, how she weeps for others, and how she desires to offer a helping hand where she can. I can count on her to be steadfast and trustworthy and perhaps most of all I appreciate her compassion toward me and my grief.

I am thinking about Elizabeth and her creativity. She likes pretty things and creating them. She loves to make cards and pictures for others. I love how she can disappear with a few art supplies and come out with something fabulous, and it is almost always for someone other than herself. I am thinking about how she wept with joy at the announcement of a new sibling.

I am thinking about Emma and her lightheartedness. The beauty of being almost 8 and carefree is worthy of envy. She loves to laugh and smile and be a part of things. I love how she loves her baby brother and wants to take care of him. I also love how she has a desire for things of the home; to cook and sew and to be creative in those ways. I'll be sad when the orthodontist fixes that toothy grin and she looks all grown up. She is every bit as random as her paragraph!!!

I am thinking about Jack; my first son. I always heard that boys love their mama's and this one does. He is more like his dad than me and has lots of depth. He is all boy in his love of sports, play and dirt. At the same time, he is very tender and sensitive to others. He watches out for his little brother trying to keep him safe and happy. I can't help but smile when I see the two of them together with Jack's arm around his shoulder. I am watching him grow and develop a sensitivity to the things of the Lord and look forward to seeing the man he is going to come.

I think of Knox and how he melted my heart every day. He'd be 4 1/2 and running right between his brothers. I wonder what he'd be like now. Would he be a budding soccer player like Anne Michal and Jack? Would he be starting to read and beg to do school with everyone else? would his hair still be so very blonde and curl up with the humidity? Would he still carry a doggie around with him wherever he went? My heart has especially ached for him this week as I wished he was still with us.

I think of Creed and am grateful that he came to us in such a time of sorrow. He has been such a special joy and loved by us all. He is always quick for a laugh and has such a great sense of humor for such a little guy. I love his short little body and his waddly walk. Just like his siblings, he loves his books. He also loves his trains and cars just like his brothers. I always think of him being a bit more innocent not knowing the pain of losing Knox, but at the same time I think he "knows" him but I'll save that for maybe another post. There really is nothing like having a toddler in the house for keeping a house full of laughter.

I think of "Molly", the baby I miscarried. If I hadn't, I'd probably be sitting here holding a one week old and smelling that sweet baby smell and stroking those soft baby cheeks and that soft baby hair. It is hard not to wonder what he/she would be like. Blue eyes for sure but other than that who would she most look like? It is hard to feel like you never real knew her, but Knox has a sibling with him and that is comforting in some way.


I think of the baby being knit together right now. Boy? Girl? I am just being thankful amidst the sickness and yuckiness to be able to "do this again." Thankful that my kids think having another sibling is the best thing ever. Thankful that they'd rather have less and do less in order to share life with another brother or sister. Honestly, what better Mother's day present could a Mom ask for than kids who love their family and cherish life.

A Conversation with Emma

This would be conversation #2 about worms with Emma so maybe I should call this her irrational fear. She gets out of bed ....

Em: Mom, can worms go through you?
Me: Why? Did you eat one? (I am trying to suppress a giggle here)
Em: No. But can they crawl through your skin.
Me: No. (forgive me because I don't think I was entirely truthful here but I blocked out most of a conversation regarding this subject that I had with other people; denial is sometimes a good place to be)
Em: They can't? Anne Michal said they could. (blast those older sisters!!!!)
Me: Well, maybe the worms in like Indonesia can but not ones in America. (once again forgive me but I was drawing from that other conversation)
Em: Well, can they come from Indonesia to America?
me: No.
Em: Are you sure?
Me: yes. They can't cross the ocean.
Em: Well, can they climb on a ship and come that way?
Me: No.
Em: Why not?
Me: because worms just don't climb on ships.
Em: Can they jump?
Me: No and I think you just need to go to bed!

For Certain People

that like to claim Creed never wears more than a diaper. Occasionally, he does.




This last one really cracks me up because he is trying to figure out how to hit the ball. He isn't doing too well.

April 2010 Book Log

36. Mortal Causes by Ian Rankin
37. Fatal Voyage by Kathy Reichs
38. The Odyssey by Homer
39. The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan
40. The 9th Judgment by James Patterson
41. Against Christianity by Peter Leithart
42. A Place to Stand by Gene Edward Veith
43. Preaching the Cross by Mark Dever
44. Stand by John Piper
45. To Change the World by James Davison Hunter