Redeeming the Day

This actually isn't about redeeming the day, but rather about not redeeming the day. I have had people tell me that I should do something to redeem April 13th and especially Friday, April 13th.  I can only assume the thought is  to change the bad memories over to good memories so I have good connections to this day rather than just the day my son nearly drowned. There is a problem, however. I don't want to redeem this day. I hate everything that happened that day and I miss him desperately. I have no desire to forget or to mark this day as anything other than his day. It is already difficult enough to have the freedom to mourn. A friend posted this link on facebook about grief being determined to be a mental illness after a mere two months. It used to be a year and now they want to change it to two weeks. It has been 5 years, and while I don't feel the oppression of grief it is often still a daily companion, and I really cannot imagine life any other way.
    God's given me the grace to live day to day and do the things I am called to do. I often do it poorly, but He continues to carry me through. I still grieve, but it tends to be in a quiet way often in the dark of the night or catching me by surprise during daily routines, but twice a year I get to really grieve. I partially return to those early days of heavy sadness and moans and groans deep from the back of the throat. April 13-April 27 is one of those times with April 13th and 23rd carrying the brunt of it. I try not to rehash the day and relive the events and all the what-ifs. It is the Lord's mercy to me that I understand this was no one's fault. People like to question where is God when bad things happen? He is on His throne just like He is when good things happen. We cannot begin to understand the sovereignty of God and why in his infinite wisdom he seemed to cover our eyes, plug our ears, and still our hands and feet. I can't stop the flashbacks that creep in or the nightmares that catch me unaware in my sleep, but I can capture those thoughts and pray to let them  rest in God's hands. I do feel the sorrow. I don't shy away from it, not on these days. I welcome it because it is cleansing and healing to remember and cry and moan and to even wish it weren't so. It somehow helps me to have the strength to keep going another year.
      I do think this day is going to be redeemed, but it won't be this side of heaven. I do know it will be a glorious day.

Giggle, and Wiggle, and Giggle, and Wiggle, and Freeze!

Janey Kate has picked up this little song from Creed.  She goes around saying, "Giggle, giggle, giggle, giggle..."  It is quickly becoming her greeting for people she sees...even if they aren't even looking at her. ;-)

Janey Kate in the Poppies

The memo on Janey Kate

This number 7 child of ours has liked to keep us on our toes doing things differently that the other kids(though they are all certainly different personalities) and so we like to joke that "she missed the memo." next up is a shirt that says "Calamity Jane."

p.s.  I missed the memo that she needed her hair brushed! ;-) 

Pro or Con?

  Elizabeth is writing a persuasive essay in her co-op writing class on the pros and cons of homeschooling vs. public schooling.  I wonder where falling asleep in your parent's bed reading while reading your literature assignment falls?

A Boy and His Arm

   Last Thursday afternoon Creed tripped over a pillow...it is rarely anything exciting is it?....and broke his arm.  When he landed, he caught himself with his hand where the wall and the floor meet. It was just the kind of landing for a buckle fracture.  He broke both of the bones in his forearm.
   Of course, I wasn't home when it happened and when I walked in the door, he was curled up on the couch by Anne Michal with his head buried in her side whimpering.  He was almost asleep and it didn't look broken so I let him nap.  When he woke up, it was obvious that he was still in a great deal of pain so I dosed him up with advil and off we went to St. Joseph's express. 
   The doctor felt around his arm and he seemed fine until he hit just the right spot.  I felt like decking him when he did, as poor Creed had the most pitiful look of betrayal on his face as tears filled his eyes and he cried out.  He didn't want to do the x-rays and cried and clung to me so I pulled out ye ol' bribery card and said, "We will treat this just like a haircut and if you are a big boy we will get a treat."  All of sudden, he sat right up and let them.  The boy likes a good treat!!!.
   He had the nurses wrapped around his finger and melted them with his puppy dog eyes and sweet little voice.  He did not want to wear the sling at all.  The nurse who had to wrap it asked him if he would wear it if she gave him 5 suckers.  He said, "If you give me 5 suckers, I will share them with my brother."  I am not kidding when I say she swooned. She declared him the best patient she had all day!  The first pictures are from Thursday.

 Monday we went to get the cast.  He was in pretty good spirits and looking forward to picking out his green cast.  On the way there he said, "Bet I get a sucker.  If they give me 3,4,5 I am going to share them."
When I checked out after he got his cast, the lady behind the counter looked at the picture they had taken with their webcam when they made his file and swooned (seriously, what it up with the swooning????), "Oh my!! His picture is soooo adorable!!"  Then she whispered, "Can he have a sucker?"  I told her was pretty sure he was getting one and she said, "Well, we have to prove him right!"  So she takes his hand and leads him around the counter and give him a blow pop!  He has never had gum.
   So we get in the car and I give him his sucker.  I tell him that it has gum in the middle not realizing that that actually means nothing to him.  Just as we near our next stop he says, " I am almost to the gum Mom!"  I said, "Ok. Glad to hear it!"  A second passes and he says, "What do I do now, Mom?"  I just laughed and told him that you just chew it.  You chew it and chew it but don't swallow it.
   We stop and he is coughing and gagging.  I open the door to get him out and I realize he was swallowing it.  So I explained again that you just chew it.  He says, "Like this, Mom?"  and he sucks it as hard as he can smacking it over and over on the roof of his mouth.  I laughed and laughed at him.  He never did figure out how to chew gum.  I wish I could remember all the stories from that afternoon.  It isn't often that he and I are out and about alone and he kept me in stitches the whole time.  He is very entertaining company!!!

 He didn't want anyone but Miss Peggy to sign his cast at first.  Then he decided Tues morning that we could sign it before he wentto co-op.  After we all signed, he decided he didn't like it and asked me if we could take it off.  I told him I could do that but he didn't have to let anyone else sign it if he didn't want to.  I think he doesn't want all that fabulous green covered up!

 I already had the stencils for these shirts cut, but in light of the broken arm finished them up.  Jack is showing the proper way to wear it below.

Signs of Spring

So thankful our little peach tree survived the drought!