Thursday, June 18, 2009

Lowering the Boom

One of the tough parenting jobs is when you have to "lower the boom." You know theadage about discipline "this hurts me more than it hurts you" really can be true. It is hard because as parents we want our kids to be happy and to enjoy life, but unlike them, it is easier for us to see beyond the here and now. Our kids live in the moment where as we look ahead to the future with a plan and a goal: to raise Godly children into Godly adults.
We had one of those incidences this week where one child was a bit too innerfocused and was trying to play the pity card, to ignore the blessings of life and focus on what he/she saw as the hardships of life. One of the poems our children learn is one that starts "Work while you work. Play while you play. This is the way to be happy each day." This is sort of how we function and we do a lot work and play! We strive to be cheerful in what we do as well. Said child was warned about his/her selfish behaviors and reminded that we are to be cheerful and obedient about the things we are called to do and that if we aren't we do not get to play(and play was huge this week!)
At this point, the parent really hopes that the child takes heed and the boom does not have to be lowered. We dont' want to take things away. We want activities to be enjoyed and fun memories made, but (and this is a big but) more important than that is our desire that we raise children that become adults and not just grown children. We want them to grow up to be industrious, focused, and diligent. We want them to enjoy their work and cherish a job well done. We want them to grow up thinking of others, serving others, seeing the blessings of God for what they are ratherthan ignoring them and thinking life isn't fair.
Having this as our goal, helps us to make the necessary choices. When that behavior rears its ugly head once again, the boom must be lowered and consequence followed through. Even when it is painful, for both the parent and the child. Because we aren't so worried about whether the child will have fun today as we are about their character tomorrow.


robin said...

Tell me again why you had to go and move away? Great thoughts.

Abby Hutto said...

Argh! I'm such a bad parent at "lowering the boom"! Thanks for the great reminder that the fun memories are not the end goal.