Memories

I was watching the movie Cranford today. I have seen a number of times before though I am usually up and down and doing other things at the same time so each time I watch it I catch new things. There is a part of the movie where an older lady, Miss Matty, is looking through some old letters and sharing about her family and her past with her younger friend, Miss Mary. Miss Matty seems a bit troubled and Miss Mary asks her, "Do the letters grieve you, Miss Matty?" She answers, "No, it isn't the letters that grieve me; it is the memories. They fly up just as I think I have them pinned down."
Hmmmm...I can relate. It isn't that you forget the memories. You never forget, but they aren't always right there and there are too many to always have all your memories in the forefront of your mind. Different thing spark different memories...experiences, conversations, books, movies, dreams, pictures...the emotions with those memories return as well and sometimes you have to process them all over.
It reminded me of a couple of things. It reminded me of the retreat we went on for couples who lost children and how while it was a great retreat and very rewarding and worthwhile, things flew up that I thought I had pinned down. I thought of and related things I hadn't thought of in a while and a few things that I had "forgotten" requiring that I deal with some things all over again or realize I never dealt with them in the first place, but like I read somewhere else, "you have to go into the sorrow in order to come out on the other side."
The other instance was last week. I was cleaning out my desk and doing some reorganization and I came across a ziploc with some photos. The top photo was upside down so I couldn't tell immediately what the pictures were and I flipped the top one over to see pictures of Knox from the hospital like this picture and this one. Immediately, with tears streaming down my face, I was there again. I could smell the hospital and the tape holding the tubes. I could feel his soft skin and his silky hair. I could hear the hum of the machines and the beeps of the monitors. I could walk myself back through those days of hoping but knowing and of loving but leaving.
The memories never stay pinned down; they fly up sometimes when you expect it and sometimes when you don't expect it, but it is true that when you enter the sorrow you come out the other side which is what I remind myself when those memories comes flying up and the grief and sorrow threatens to engulf me. God always carries me through and I always come out the other side.

Christmas 2009

The Christmas Tree...


Creed on his handy-dandy stool helping to make icing for cookies. He thinks he can do whatever they do.


Icing the tree...



Waiting for Christmas activities to begin...

The annual stockings on the couch picture...


I love this face.
Hugging her new cape...


A contrast of femininity...


Enjoying a new book...

Opening presents...
The $1 swords were a favorite present!!


Teaching Creed to open presents...

He opened almost every present sitting in Anne Michal's lap. He liked to lean way back for some reason.

Each year the kids pick out an ornament for Knox. This one is this years; our third Christmas wtihout him.

They insisted we get this butterfly for Molly, the baby I miscarried. I love their hearts!


This was a good Christmas for remembering the whole picture. Jesus coming as a baby to be fully human to share our lives so that He knows our joys and sorrows. For remembering His life that prepared Him for His sacrifice so that we can be forgiven and have the reality of the hope of heaven; to experience a complete joy and wholeness while worshiping the King for all eternity.

Taking My Turn with a Link

Really good blog post about letting kids grow up...

READING! READING! READING!

I know I have said it before, but I love having a houseful of readers!!! I love it that I can tell everyone to go grab a book for some down time and everyone enjoys doing it! These were all taking within minutes of each other.


Jack likes to walk through the house reading. Good solution for boys that don't like to sit still long enough to read!! ;-)

Emma likes to curl up on the couch!

And Creed might not be reading yet, but he sure does love books!!! I think we are going to wear out Brown Bear, Brown Bear!

December 2009 Book Log

81. The Cardinal of the Kremlin by Tom Clancy
82. The Cruelest Month by Louise Penny
83. Grave Secrets by Kathy Reichs
84. How Shall We Worship? Biblical Guidelines for the Worship Wars by Marva Dawn
85. Stop Dating the Church by Joshua Harris
86. Humility: True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney
87. Letter from a Christian Citizen by Douglas Wilson
88. Atheism Remix by R. Albert Mohler
89. Desire and Deceit by R. Albert Mohler
90. Worldliness by C.J. Mahaney
91. The Unwavering Resolve of Jonathan Edwards by Steven Lawson
92. Rethinking Retirement by John Piper
93. Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller
94. Sexual Detox by Tim Challies
95. Grow by Winfield Bevins
96. Fight Clubs by Jonathan Dodson
97. Pastor Dad by Mark Driscoll