Friday, April 23, 2010

It's been 3 years...

I have thought a lot in the past several days or so about what I might want to post on Knox's birthday and while I have had a few blog posts rolling around in my head, none of them seem right for today. I kind of had this weird desire to write a poem,but there are no poems in this head of mine. I definitely do not think in poetry or at least it can't come out on paper as poetry.
This is the first time today that I have been able to just sit and think without other little voices around and I realize I just want to remember him. I don't want to think about this day 3 years ago; maybe I should, but I am choosing not to relive it today. I am choosing to not think of all the things we are missing, but to reflect on what we had.
So I am remembering these things about my blonde-haired blue-eyed Knox...

the wonder of the surprise he was
thanking God for him pretty much every day
siblings that loved to hold him, kiss him, feed him, and play with him
a sister that was constantly distracted by the desire to go play with you
soft, silky blonde hair
a little red birthmark on his belly
blue blue eyes
a contagious grin
people stopping to smile at him wherever we went
his running away and turning back to flash me a grin
the banana dance every morning
avoiding the banana display at the grocery store and trying to sneak them into the cart without him seeing them
his obsession with walking lines
his hair blowing in the wind
his brother and sisters piling a mountain of cheerios on his tray for him to eat
the way he felt in my arms
his hugs
the green paci and dogs that went wherever he went
how cute he was dressed in his little jon jons
how he was a bright spot on the darkest days
Sunday evenings of just me and him
little blue crocs and how he loved them
playing with his feet while stopped at the forever stoplight leading out of our neighborhood
his love of Cars....MAC! MAC!
how he looked sitting in his little chair reading his books
his ability to sit and play with trains for long period of time with Jack or by himself
his driving his cars on the windowsills
his love of life and the joy he brought us every day and many more...

Thank you Lord for giving us this sweet, sweet boy!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Thoughts regarding the term R.I.P

I have been seeing a trend a lot lately on facebook and in articles where people use the term R.I.P. when a person dies. Every time I see it I kind of immediately get that nauseated feeling that goes along with someone saying something really tacky. Because of this I decided to think through why I feel so strongly against people saying R.I.P. so and so. First I looked it up to see what the history of R.I.P. is. R.I.P. is the abbreviation for the latin term Reqiescat in Pace which means Rest in Peace. I couldn't find a lot of information on it but one source did say that it was said to assure the soul would not be tormented in eternity. I also saw references to it being used lightly in cartoons and such shows as The Family Guy.
Those finding though sparse confirmed my gut feelings. When I think of R.I.P., I think about halloween decorations(which I also find very tacky), cartoons, and bad over-the-hill jokes. My history of the term is of it being used in either a gory or joking manner. When I hear someone say R.I.P. , as silly as it sounds I think they might as well be saying "Word up!" or some other slang. Last I knew using slang for the death of a loved one was not acceptable. It definitely isn't a classy comment, a comforting comment, or even a hopeful comment. Why not say, "Hey, dude! I hope you aren't in eternal torment right now."
Whenever I see this term written, I always want to say, "Really? That is the best you have right now? You can't think of anything comforting or real to say." How about saying, "I am going to miss so and so. Praying for comfort for their family," or "So and So was a great friend and we shared so many wonderful memories. I am thankful they no longer know pain and sorrow." I can think of so many appropriate things to say and none of which are flippant and show lack of consideration for the person's family.
Honestly, and here is where it gets personal, if someone had started a facebook page called R.I.P. Knox Anderson, I'd have been terribly offended. I'd have thought they were treating him and us with no more consideration than people on a very tacky TV show, horror movies, halloween decorations, and bad jokes. Also, I'd have thought, "Is that really all they hope for him is that he rests in peace." Because I am pretty sure he is doing more than resting in peace. Yes he knows a peace that comes from lack of pain, sorrow, tiredness, and grief, but he is glorying in his redeemer and spending an eternity in blissful worship.
So next time, you'd like to comment on the death of someone you care about, take into consideration the words you say. Find something true and meaningful about the person's life. If they aren't a family member, think of words you can say that will bring comfort and pleasure to their family. Please don't be flippant and casual, but kind and caring.