Friday, April 23, 2010

It's been 3 years...

I have thought a lot in the past several days or so about what I might want to post on Knox's birthday and while I have had a few blog posts rolling around in my head, none of them seem right for today. I kind of had this weird desire to write a poem,but there are no poems in this head of mine. I definitely do not think in poetry or at least it can't come out on paper as poetry.
This is the first time today that I have been able to just sit and think without other little voices around and I realize I just want to remember him. I don't want to think about this day 3 years ago; maybe I should, but I am choosing not to relive it today. I am choosing to not think of all the things we are missing, but to reflect on what we had.
So I am remembering these things about my blonde-haired blue-eyed Knox...

the wonder of the surprise he was
thanking God for him pretty much every day
siblings that loved to hold him, kiss him, feed him, and play with him
a sister that was constantly distracted by the desire to go play with you
soft, silky blonde hair
a little red birthmark on his belly
blue blue eyes
a contagious grin
people stopping to smile at him wherever we went
his running away and turning back to flash me a grin
the banana dance every morning
avoiding the banana display at the grocery store and trying to sneak them into the cart without him seeing them
his obsession with walking lines
his hair blowing in the wind
his brother and sisters piling a mountain of cheerios on his tray for him to eat
the way he felt in my arms
his hugs
the green paci and dogs that went wherever he went
how cute he was dressed in his little jon jons
how he was a bright spot on the darkest days
Sunday evenings of just me and him
little blue crocs and how he loved them
playing with his feet while stopped at the forever stoplight leading out of our neighborhood
his love of Cars....MAC! MAC!
how he looked sitting in his little chair reading his books
his ability to sit and play with trains for long period of time with Jack or by himself
his driving his cars on the windowsills
his love of life and the joy he brought us every day and many more...

Thank you Lord for giving us this sweet, sweet boy!


Mindy said...

thinking of you and praying for you today ((hugs))

Faith N. said...

Thank you Rachel :'(

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for letting us love and remember Knox with you.

Anonymous said...

I have been thinking of how grateful I am for the visit we had had shortly before his accident. I keep seeing the picture of him riding on your dad's shoulders at the lake. Hugs and more hugs to everyone. Love you all so much.

Anonymous said...

Knox was so loved...that speaks to me so clearly...praying for you, Jon and your children. Thanks for sharing Knox with us.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for continuing to post about him. I know that I miss him, so I can't even imagine your heartache. He and my Sean both loved Cars so much and even now when Sean is playing with his MAC, I can hear Knox and smile. Love you guys!

Marian said...

Oh he sure was a sweet, handsome boy. Thanks Rachel.

Anonymous said...

Your descriptions of Knox remind me so much of Jamey (well, minus the hair :)). I always love the photos of him and am grateful for your happy memories. Will pray for you today to keep thinking about those.

Lauren said...

beautiful boy! we are also praying for your family. thanks for sharing memories and truth.