Friday, March 19, 2010

Clothes Sorting and Memories

One of the biproducts of a large family is the possession of a lot of tubs in the attic, closets, garage or whatever. Twice a year the tubs come out and the ol' clothes switcheroo takes place to see what fits and what we need to buy for the next season. Every few times we get them all out because stuff gets out of place and put in the wrong tubs, and it all needs to be resorted. I also use that time for sending off to goodwill what I know will never be worn again adn to just pare it down in general. I decided this spring was one of those times so out they all came. is always such a walk down memory lane. I consolidated all our shoes down to one tub. In that one tub is the first little baby shoes I ever bought. I cannot tell you how many times I was stopped by someone telling me how much they liked those shoes. Besides those shoes, are the first little pair of white fisherman sandals; the ones that Anne Michal learned to walk sweet. And I can't leave out all the little white keds with the rubber toes. What is it about those rubber toes that is so stinkin' cute!

I had a lot of baby and little girl clothes returned to me and I sorted through those, and it reminds me of the little chubby faces , the hairbows, the first pigtails, and all the cute little bloomers. I see little girls clutching their dolls, pushing strollers, and making tea. My youngest girl is turning 8 this summer and those days seem long ago, but I smile thinking of the sweetness of those days and the lovely girls they have turned out to be.

I'd love to be able to say that they are all happy memories or happy thoughts, but it woudn't be honest. I sort through the sz 4 boys clothes and I see all the shorts and t's that knox would be wearing. I wonder if Elizabeth is right and if his favorite color really is green. I pull out some things for Creed that Knox would have been wearing that summer(2007). I got rid of most of it as I didn't want to see another little boy wearing those things, but I missed a few things and I can't help but wish I had the memories of Knox wearing those. I come across the girl's orange overalls that matched the overalls knox had on the night of his accident and think about ripping them to shreds but just put them in a box instead. I consider the same with the green capris that looked like the ones I had on that night, but go ahead and put them in Emma's drawer .

I guess what it boils down to is that clothes carry a history with them; a history that sticks with me. I know who wore what and when. I know the good and the bad of all those times and even in that there is mixed emotions. The clothes Emma is wearing this summer is mostly the clothes that Anne Michal wore in 2007. They remind me of the pain and the grief that lingers yet, but it also reminds me of the kindness and generosity of people to us as well. It reminds me of people praying for us, caring for us, bringing us meals and buying my children summer clothes so that I didn't have to even think about it. Those are comforting memories and memories that I hope I can use to help me to comfort others.

It has been quite the emotional day, and I continue to be thankful that His mercies are new every morning.


Anonymous said...

Hugs, kisses and tears. Love you.

Lydia in AL said...

It is ok to weep sometime, but also remember the good times. {{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}

robin said...

I love your honesty in this post.

Carla said...


I'm so glad you were so honest. We do the switcheroo, too (I'm putting it off until after Peter's birthday in APril) and I can well imagine how bittersweet this was for you!

Andrea said...

We have been praying for you all this month and especially today. We love you all! We will continue to ask His grace and understanding during this difficult remembering season.